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Is it Worth Arguing Over?

Have you ever had your good day ruined by an argument that you felt wasn't worth arguing over in the first place?

It's all too common when somebody begins arguing with us for us to respond  in kind. If the other person raises their voice at you, it's instinctive to raise your voice at them. Of course since it's instinctive, they'll raise their voice even louder now that you've raised your voice  yourself. The next thing you know you're both yelling and there goes your good mood.

Sometimes a fight just isn't worth having. Sometimes people take out their anger on us when we're not the ones they're angry with. But just because someone tries to start a fight with us, doesn't mean that we have to immediately fight back.

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Picture of two teenage girls having an argument; one appears rejected
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There's a difference of course between allowing yourself to be attacked and choosing not to argue. If a person begins to attack your character or your being, you may need to defend yourself. But if a person wants to start a fight with you over something insignificant such as your decision to wear a certain color shirt, it may not be worth it.

The key here is that you have the choice. You have the power to say no. You have the control and the option to choose not to get involved. Often the quickest and easiest way to diffuse someone else's anger is to not react to it. When someone starts yelling at you, they expect you to either become defensive or yell back. You can often catch them off guard by taking their behavior in stride.

If for example you forgot to do something, just accept responsibility for your oversight and move on. Tell them that you know you forgot and that you'll take care of it tomorrow. By doing so you can take the strength out of their argument and likely it will quickly fizzle out.

Also don't forget to stay calm the entire time. Don't allow them to get you worked up, because seeing that emotional reaction on your part will add fuel to the fire that is their anger.

Again, this is not to say that there are not fights and arguments worth having. The point here is simply that there are times when we need to choose when to and when not to argue. Sometimes an argument serves little purpose other than to ruin your otherwise good mood. The choice is yours.

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